5 Dates To Take Yourself On

There are such harsh stigmas about doing things alone, it’s time we get rid of them.

This week on the Emotionally Driven Podcast, I talked to McKinley Bradshaw, a close friend of mine who I consider an expert on self-love. She has always been an inspiration to me on being kind to yourself, loving yourself, and ultimately just being your own best friend.

We talked about how one learns to love themself. McKinley shares that a way to start is by spending more time alone and intentionally spending time by yourself. Part of this is getting to know yourself and doing things that you enjoy.

It was something that stuck out to me, as I went on a similar journey a couple of years ago.

Doing things alone can look a bit scary at first, but maybe I can give you a couple of ideas that can ease you into spending more time alone. Here are 5 dates you can take yourself on to focus on your relationship with yourself.

1. Go to the Movies

Going to the movies is a great segue into doing things alone. The movies are a dark place, and no one is looking around or talking, they’re just watching the movie. I suggest going to a theatre with reclining chairs so you can experience peak comfort and make sure to show up a bit early to get some snacks. My go-to favorite is a Coke ICEE with a medium popcorn (with extra butter) and a box of Buncha Crunch. Or (another one of my go-to favorites) go to a Taco Bell beforehand and buy yourself a burrito, some chips and nacho cheese, and sneak it in. Make sure to choose a movie you like, and you’re bound to have fun!

2. Take Yourself on a Drive

Here at the Emotionally Driven Podcast, we’re obviously big fans of driving. Just like when you were a teenager and you would ask your crush if they wanted to go for a drive, do the same for yourself. Prepare the perfect playlist and start driving. Sometimes I like to go through neighborhoods that have pretty homes. Listen to music for a bit, but take a moment to turn it off and let your thoughts wander. Driving can be a time where you become more mindful. The Calm App has a whole array of episodes focused on meditating while driving. You could also just have conversations with yourself, talk about where you are in life currently and how you are feeling. Just hold space for yourself while taking a drive.

3. Go on a Solo Trip

A couple of years ago I was going through a period where the way I viewed myself was not kind. In response, my therapist suggested I go on a trip by myself. She said that it would be a good experience to spend time by myself and be able to recognize the things I can do for myself when I am alone. I drove to a city that was a couple of hours away from me and spent the weekend there. I wandered around the city, went to museums, took myself to dinner, and just spent time by myself. It felt very fulfilling to spend intentional time by myself in a different city. So, I suggest the same thing my therapist suggested, go on a trip. Explore the city, do something new, and ultimately enjoy yourself. You’ll be proud you took care of yourself in a foreign city.

4. Go to a Concert

Go to Ticketmaster or Vividseats and look for some artists you like that will be coming to your town soon. Especially if it’s an artist that no one in your social circle cares for. And just buy one ticket. It can sound a bit daunting to be around so many people by yourself, but it could be a great experience. Everyone there will be focused on the artist and the music. You can connect with yourself at this concert and focus on your interests, like why you may like this specific artist or what makes their music resonate with you. Buy yourself some concert merch to memorialize this special day alone.

5. A Spa Day

What better way to show love to yourself than spending dedicated time just pampering yourself? You can be a bit fancy and go to a local spa. Splurge on a massage or a facial and be spoiled. But if going to a spa is out of your budget, create a spa in your home. Take a bath, do a facial, lounge around in a bathrobe (one of my favorite parts of a spa day) and give yourself a pedicure bath. Do whatever will make your body feel appreciated. This can mean doing your makeup and getting all dolled up to go with friends later that night. Just focus on making yourself feel nice.

6. Go on a Walk

A bit similar to going on a drive, but still pretty different. Hot Girl Walks became very popular on TikTok during the pandemic, originating from Mia Lind’s TikTok. She suggests doing these three things on your walk:

1. Think about the things you are grateful for

2. Think about your goals and how you are going to achieve them

3. Think about how hot you are

Intentionality is very important when going on a walk alone. If Lind’s suggestions don’t sound appealing, just try thinking about your body. You can focus on the ability it has to take you for a walk and move you from A to Z. Be aware of the gift your body is and not the way it looks. Or you can go on a walk and focus on being aware of your surroundings. Do this without any technology and your mind will wander where it needs to. Look at nature, look at those walking by and you will be able to be more present in your life.

Spending time alone seems lonely, but it doesn’t have to be. Be your own best friend and enjoy your own company. Be intentional in the way you spend time alone and the love you have for yourself will grow.